Geekizmology: Episode III – Revenge Of The Stiffs
Yes. Everybody was telling me to watch it. Everybody was telling me how good it was. ‘There was absolutely nothing like it.’ It is the best show ever. So my girl and I decided to watch it. I got us the whole first season and we put the first episode on. First few minutes were okay. Not too bad. Maybe a little slow. But who knows, where it goes. Ten minutes in, we started talking to each other. And honestly, we are TV Show lovers, we have seen a lot. And started even more. And there’s quite a few shows that we follow season after season. Given, maybe I watch a little more than my better half, but if we watch together, and it’s a good show, we really watch together. Start to end. If we start talking during one, it probably can not bother us a lot. Thirty minutes in we were still talking and neither one of us really figured out what it was about. How it came to this apocalyptic setting. After the first episode we decided to not watch the rest of it. Maybe some other time. And there was this Other Time, that I tried to watch it by myself. And I fell asleep. First episode. Okay, maybe I was really tired… Nonetheless, I am a persistent Geek and I must say, whenever I tell people I could not watch the show, they tell me to try again. So, now I came to a point in my life where maybe, just maybe I should give it another go. Yes, Of course I’m talking about The Walking Dead!! Today I am going to restart the Infamous Episode One. I will yet give it another go. And will post my findings on the bottom of this very page, Episode III. It is exactly 19:26 in my part of the world. I have in front of me: A glass of wine. A bottle of wine for the refills. I have next to me a box of crackers. Some other snacks. I am staring at a 32 inch flat screen, where this ‘Ultimate Mayhem Of Stiffs Who Are Taking Revenge On Mankind’ will take place. Or something like that… I am ready. I will not fall asleep. I will report back at 20:45 local time (mine). To write a personal review of The First Episode, and to inform you whether I shall or shall not continue to watch this Show. (…Godspeed…) —REVIEW— [ Whoopsies… I fell asleep again… ] But not too long. Maybe even not long enough.. Sooo… Again I started The Walking Stiffs. It all starts with a cop who needs gas. In an abandoned piece of the country, he drives police his car and finds a gas station. He stops in the middle of a cross roads, takes his… well.. very very tiny gas can from the trunk to fill up his cop car and walks through thrown around cars the grasslands, which als seems some kind of camping site to the gas station.. I guess he will walk back and forth a few times. Why? IDK… Why did he pull over in the first place. Drive a little closer maybe?.. Weird.. I did feel there was enough space for him to drive a little further up to the gas station. Well… It doesn’t matter anyway, because he sees a sign ‘No gas’ But he has to shoot a zombie girl. Flashback. He and his cop buddy are sitting in their cop car. They get a call and rush off to catch a guy who apparently is being chased by other cops. They roll out a spike mat, the car comes in, hits the mat and rolls over. Guy comes, out starts shooting, hits cop number 1 a few times and gets himself killed. Out main cop wakes up in the hospital, cop 2 brings him flowers, cop 1 starts talking to him, but apparently that was too late. Because cop 2 left already. Ages ago.. The flowers are dead, quite a long time it seems. He has a beard, that’s a few days old. Which is weird on itself, because the flowers look like they are dead quite a bit longer than the beard grew. My first thought was, why did no one throw these out. What kind of hospital is this Well, my thoughts were answered soon enough. It’s an abandoned one. The clocks stopped working, no one is there, except for a rotting corpse that’s half eaten. Okay. We have a few inconsistencies here. He must have been in the hospital, alone, for at least a week, looking at his beard, if he’s a slow grower… The flowers, however, indicate that they have been there for weeks, if not months. They are completely dried out.. Then copper gets up, takes the drip feed out of his arm, which is hooked to the machine still. Oh wait. That’s weird.. I remember being in the hospital once and when my dripfeed ran empty, it started to do the opposite that what it’s supposed to do. It drew my blood. So, if he has been there for weeks, he should have been empty now… Anyway, he gets up, filled with blood, and walks through the hallways. There’s a big puddle of blood on the floor. Ummm… Pretty wet and fresh.. Weeks after the last person died here?… That should have been dried up by now.. wouldn’t it?… A little bit later he walks out of the hospital and yet again, we see the building from a distance, it looks like it’s abandoned for quite some time. He goes to his old house. That too is abandoned, his wife and son are gone. Who knows where. Then outside he meets this man and his son. He stays with them a few days max. Could not be long, because the man’s beard did not grow at all. This guy’s wife fell prey to the zombies and got zombified too, every now and then she checks out the house. She does still look a bit like she gets it, though.. The man is in a rut, because he wants to shoot his wife, but the minute he has a shot he bails out. Not very weird, though. I don’t know if I could shoot mine if I was him. By now the cop is leaving them and I fall asleep. Zzzzzzzzz…. Suddenly I wake up from a gun shot. Something happened. I have no clue what. Now we have cop number 2, apparently he is still alive and gathered some people. Without knowing who is who, both cops are on the radio, talking to each other, but no one hears the other one reply. There’s a conversation between cop 2 and a woman. There’s a little kid in the back. Now. THAT is probably the most obvious thing I have ever seen in a horror movie or show. And I’ve seen the occasional monsters running after the girls, who fall and sprain an ankle or two. This woman and kid are cop 1’s of course.. Could it be anymore obvious? Whoopsies.. she’s kissing cop 2.. Well, whaddayaknow?.. We go back to cop 1. He arrives with his little gas can at a farm. Yells if he can borrow some gas. Or have. I doubt he would return what he takes.. He looks through the window and sees a man that blew his own head off on a couch and a dead wife on the floor. I don’t know if she was attacked by dead people.. The next scene is the cop being in the yard of the farm. We see a swinging chair/bench type of thing, which has red paint on it, like someone spray painted it. Vandalism. I guess we have a ‘rotten youth’ here.. Zombie kids with spray cans… tagging the place.. Sheesh, those kids these days.. still messing around even when they are.. ummm… undead… Hey! Our main character cop sees a horse in the pasture… A whole, not-eaten horse. Not zombified. Not even a little bite. I think zombies don’t like horse meat. Or don’t eat animals.. I wouldn’t know why, but hey.. Well, he takes the horse and like a good cowboy copper he rides his steeds towards the city. A beautiful scene of a high way with one half of the road filled with dead cars, the other way is completely empty, and our hero can use that road. It’s a good shot. Everyone living tried to leave the city, no one died while getting in. Damaged buildings and a train that’s on its side.. Why? IDK… Those are some strong zombies.. Anywho, this scene also tells me the zombie killing spree happened quite some time ago… The city seems empty, given one or two zombies on a bus. Cop 1 looks around and all of a sudden he is surrounded by hundreds of zombies who come from all over the place.. Geez, they’re quick. He falls off his horse and the zombies start munching on.. hey.. NOW they eat horse?.. Guess they were that hungry they could eat a h.. never mind.. Our hero hides under a tank, zombies come after him and.. he is on the brink of killing himself while he sees no way out. Or does he? Yes he does. JUST before he pulls the trigger he turns over and sees a manhole in the tank. Get in!!! He does. And closes it. He sits down next to a dead military. Tries to take his gun, because his’ is empty. Actually it should have at least one bullet, or else he could kill himself.. Oh wait. He’s not dead. He’s undead too. Our copper looks the zombie right in the face, grabs the gun and shoots him in the head. Then his right ear starts ringing because… It was too close to the gun? Nope. Like I said he look the zombie in the face. The zombie sat on his right side. Which means he had to turn his right ear AWAY from the gun in order to look at the zombie. While copper was shooting the only thing that would become deaf was his nose. We end with an overview of a lot of zombies gathering around the tank. So. Am I gonna try to watch the rest? I´ll leave it to my girl. If she wants to watch it, we will watch it. Will I watch it alone? IDK.. It might get better, and maybe I’m just bitching too much.. It has good zombie effects, though. Leave your two cents if you want, maybe you like it and can convince me it’s a good show!